I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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