I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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