Screwed.edu
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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