Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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