I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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