I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
