Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
