i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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