I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
