I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
