I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
