I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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