dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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