i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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