I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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