Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
