How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
