I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
