Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
