So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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