We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
