you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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