its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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