I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
