Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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