Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
