my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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