I'm gonna have a badass scar
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
