he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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