no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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