the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
