i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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