They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You're like the curious george of whores
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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