What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
