I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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