i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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