Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
