My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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