STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
