did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
