Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
