Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
