jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
