the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
