were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just invented taco cereal.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
