I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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