so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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