normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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