Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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