toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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