I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize