She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How naked do you want me to be?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
