The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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