i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
