my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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