Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize