Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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