Sorry, I don't speak sober.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
