i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish you could order shots online.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize